I just pynch a tree in the face
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
