i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
