Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
