Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
