we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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