There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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