I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
