Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
