next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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