And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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