in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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