your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
