When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
