So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
