your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
