:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize