I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
