I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
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