Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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