If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
