if i can run in heels then i can drive
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
