I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
