in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
