he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
