All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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