i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
