you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize