i dont even know how to be here
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize