are you so shy because you have an std?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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