I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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