you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
