he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
