Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
