Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Houston, we have a squirter
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
