Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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