I hate your face
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
