they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
