Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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