Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
