Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
