i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
