sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
