She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
