Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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