Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
