it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
