well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
