You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
