dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
