I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize