I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I hate all girls vehemently.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
this is an emotional support booty call
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
