dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
