yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
