i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
