Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
