i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
