last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
