...so i touched it.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
