dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
