Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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