I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
