Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
