I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
