My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
