FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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