He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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