We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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