Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You ruined the universe
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
