I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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