uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
